


Latibule

by MaityBFiction



Series: Undeclared [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast's Backstory, Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, One Shot, POV Caleb Widogast, Parenthood, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Undeclared, Trent Ikithon Being an Asshole, Warning: Trent Ikithon, Wintercrest Oneshot, trigger warning: torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 00:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22006876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaityBFiction/pseuds/MaityBFiction
Summary: Latibule | Lat-i-bule | (n.) A hiding place; a place of safety and comfort.Caleb's has been at Soltryce for one year, and reality is starting to hit him. Things are not what they seem, and the holidays are not cheerful. Not this  year. After a particularly rough lesson with Master Ikithon, he finds it best to stay back at the Rexentruum campus rather than return home to Blumenthal. Professor Brenatto is having none of that. Not if she can help it.AKA: The Wintercrest oneshot Undeclared needs and I am here to deliver with angst, fluff, and good feels and maybe drop some lore.
Relationships: Astrid & Eodwulf & Caleb Widogast, Luc Brenatto & Caleb Widogast, Nott & Caleb Widogast, Veth Brenatto/Yeza Brenatto, Yeza Brenatto/Nott
Series: Undeclared [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1579663
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Latibule

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year!! 
> 
> Thank you to all who followed Undeclared until the end and left feedback and kudos!! I got inspired to write a one shot and this little guy was 29 PAGES on my word document. I'm very excited to add to the world and keep going! 
> 
> 'Lacuna' will be dropping the day Critical Role comes back on January 9th, at least that's my plan! It will continue where Undeclared left off. The storm will come. 
> 
> Enjoy this one shot, and I hope everyone has a family to be with, blood or found! Remember to love each other <3 <3 <3 
> 
> You can find art of mine on Twitter at Maity_Art and on Patreon soon!

**Nott & Caleb - Latibule**

**Music - Toxic Thoughts by Faith Marie**

**.**

**.**

**.**

“Have a good Wintercrest, Astrid.” 

“Thank you, Bren.”

“Caleb.”

“Bren.”

“Astrid…” Eodwulf huffed. Sighing, the woman tucked some hair behind her ear, a few blonde strands falling back over her eyes. 

“Why are you changing your name again?” Caleb messed with his sleeves, giving a little shrug. 

“Why not? I’m a Vollstrecker now. I am not the man I was.” He stated clearly, getting the fabric of his sleeves to  _ finally  _ lay over his bandages in a way that didn’t irritate him. He hated how compulsive he was over these little things, but he couldn’t stop the nit-picking. 

“I like it.” Eodwulf clapped him on the back, the wizard hissing softly.

“Sorry…”

“It’s fine. You...didn’t know.” Caleb stood up straighter, rolling his shoulders some. 

“So….Caleb...are you going home for the break? For Wintercrest?” Astrid began to button up her coat, her boots thumping on the floor as she walked away from the two men, grabbing a scarf from the coat rack. 

Caleb moved away from the group, settling back on the couch in the main area, the fireplace crackling. 

“ _ Nein _ .” He mumbled, eyes gazing over at the fire, heat prickling under his skin just at the site of the flames that licked against the wood. The way it blackened was akin to how his own skin had reacted at first...to how it had resisted, a sharp pain in his lip brought him back and he began to lick and suck at his own lower lip subconsciously, stopping the bleeding. 

“Why not?” Astrid asked, delicate hands wrapping the scarf around her neck. 

Caleb shrugged again, not wanting to give away too much. There were many reasons. He couldn’t go home. He had not seen his family since they waved goodbye to him as he stepped into the carriage with Eodwulf and Astrid a year ago. 

“Twenty-four.”

“ _ Was _ ?” Caleb brought his gaze up to Eodwulf, the man was sitting on a lounging chair across from him, tying up his own winter boots. 

“It’s your birthday in a few days...did you forget?” The man gave him a little smirk, a small part of the boy he’d known peeking through. His heart ached, but he found himself smirking a little back. 

“I am the man who never forgets,  _ mein freund _ .” Caleb stated, sitting up more. 

“Wintercrest baby, you know what they say about those born on holidays... _ ja _ ?” Caleb nodded to his question.

“They are destined for greatness. To be born on such a special day…”

“And for greatness you are destined indeed, Caleb.” Despite sitting up straight, the man somehow felt his spine straighten even more. 

“Master Ikithon.” Astrid bowed her head respectfully, the man was donned in deeply colored robes of blood red, black, and purple. They were lined with fur, his boots clacked against the wooden floors of the main room. 

“Master Ikithon...good afternoon.” Eodwulf stood and bowed his head as well. Caleb fell in tow, standing and bowing his head.

“Master Ikithon.” He mumbled. The older man raised a hand, chuckling. 

“We are no longer in lessons, I am simply a professor right now.” He assured them all. 

Caleb raised his head, looking the man in the eyes. He had had a lesson last night, a last minute one that no one else knew about. 

“Yes. Lessons ended yesterday...I...do not suppose you have the results of...our exams, professor?” He felt daring asking this, but he wanted to know. He had worked so hard this year. It was his first year at Soltryce, he had been invited here. The three of them, country farm-hands from the Zemnian Fields. He wanted to prove to his hometown that he was just as good as his father, or better. He yearned to learn, he was not a military man, he was a scholar, and this was the place to become one. 

Ikithon laughed softly, arms clasped behind his back. 

“Eager as always, my pupil.” His eyes flashed with something akin to pride, but it just made a shiver run down Caleb’s spine. 

“Come on, professor~ We worked pretty hard on those spells! I’m rather proud of my evocation final.” Eodwulf puffed out his chest some. Twenty-two, but he had the eagerness of a teenager. 

“Yes, you were exceptional, Eodwulf. You’ll be happy to know that your marks passed the Vollstrecker standards. You will be allowed to continue your training, and to remain in the House for another semester. You may rest easy, we are very proud of your hard work.” Trent raked his gaze over to Astrid, purposely skipping over Caleb. 

The wizard sucked in a breath, fingers itching to undo his wrappings. He had been so good. He had done everything without complaint. He had to have passed. He had sacrificed everything. He-

“Astrid. You also had exceptional marks and have passed the Vollstrecker standards. You also will be allowed to continue your training, and to remain in the House for another semester. Your performance in Illusion Studies was invigorating, definitely something that we want you to continue researching.” Astrid’s smile took on a more prideful tone, gaze hardening to molten as she nodded.

“Yes, professor Ikithon. Thank you, professor Ikithon.”

“Bren Ermendrude…” Trent finally looked to him, and Caleb clenched his jaw tighter, biting the inside of his cheek painfully. 

“....You had the highest marks in the  _ entire  _ House. Forget passing the Vollstrecker standards, you might as well have set new ones. You blew away the professors here at Soltryce with your dedication to our program. You have earned your Vollstrecker name, Caleb...put Bren to rest. Embrace your new position here as my personal student. We will be having many lessons together, you three and I.” Caleb let out the breath he had been holding, the fire under his skin settling to a dull warmth. 

“ _ Danke _ \- Thank you...I mean. Thank you, Master Ikithon.” He murmured, voice shaking. 

“You were nervous for no reason, you’ve always had the highest marks, Bren.” Astrid hummed.

“Caleb.”

“I’ll get there.” 

“Caleb?” He looked back over to Trent, he was also getting ready to leave.

“Are you not returning to your family?” He asked. 

“N-No...Master. I am... I am remaining on campus. There is much to study. I...fear I will fall behind if I leave campus.” The excuse was dumb. He knew it. But Trent accepted it, whether he believed it or not was lost on Caleb.

“Very well. If you would like, you are more than welcome to join me at my mansion, I have archives of my own you are welcome to peruse and study from.” He offered. Caleb’s spine prickled, stomach churning.

“No thank you, Master Ikithon. I am honored, but I will remain here. Thank you.” 

“Man...Caleb turning down a library? A free one?” Eodwulf laughed.

“There are plenty of resources for me here at the Academy, and if I must...I can request a pass into the Cobalt Soul with guidance. It is not impossible.” He reminded him. 

“That is right, Caleb. Well, Good Wintercrest you three. Enjoy the holidays. I will see you all in two weeks time. Yes?” Trent gave a wave and stalked out into the parlor, the sound of the front doors closing behind him echoing in the now empty house. Astrid was now ready to go as well, her hat snug on her head, blonde hair not cooperating as she tried to fix it with gloved fingers. 

“Just cut it.” Eodwulf sighed.

“I might.” Astrid sighed, blowing another strand from her face. Eodwulf slid his coat on and rolled his shoulders, picking up his bag along with Astrid’s. 

“Well...um...see you, Caleb. Should we tell your parents anything when we see ‘em?” He asked. Caleb nodded, heart aching to embrace his mother and father again. 

“... _ Ja _ . Tell them I love them...and...I miss them...a lot. That I will be sending a letter soon...thank them for everything...tell them I love them.” 

“You already said that.”

“I know.”

“So...tell ‘em twice?”

“Yes.” Eodwulf blinked, but he didn’t question. Astrid stood in the doorway, arms crossed.

“From Caleb?” She asked.

“No...from Bren. I am their Bren.”

“But Caleb is different?”

“Yes. Just...do it? Please?” 

“Yeah yeah. We will.” She waved a dismissive hand, Caleb’s heart slowed down some from its panic. 

“Thank you…” He breathed. He watched as Eodwulf went to the doorway, giving a smile.

“Good Wintercrest, Caleb. When we get back, we’ll celebrate like we used to!” He promised. Caleb smiled sadly. 

“Is there anywhere we can even do our little tradition?” He chuckled.

“Uhhh...yeah? I’ll make the stairs extra messy and you can impress Astrid or the other ladies by cleaning them with magic.” He wiggled his eyebrows, making Astrid roll her eyes. 

“Oh? And is Astrid going to scrub the doorknobs then? Let everyone know she is single?” Caleb smirked.

“Shut it.” She frowned. 

“You’ll have to kiss Caleb again.” Eodwulf laughed.

“Shh! C-Come on!” She grabbed his arm, looking over at Caleb, who just gave a little wave. 

“...Good Wintercrest, Astrid.” 

“Good Wintercrest, Bren.” The two bustled out the door, Eodwulf still laughing and teasing Astrid about kissing. The silence was deafening when the door shut. 

Caleb was alone. The dark oak of the floors and support beams seemed to close in, he was exposed out here. He hastily made his way up the stairs and back to his room where he opened the door and shut it behind him. 

In his bland room, the feeling of claustrophobia wasn’t as bad. Caleb let out a deep breath and sat on his bed with a huff, exhaustion creeping over him. He wanted to summon Frumpkin, but he hadn’t the components to do it. And he was afraid that if he summoned his familiar Trent would know. 

Caleb was exhausted. 

He was so exhausted.

This was not what he thought Soltryce would be like. 

A year ago he had been an eager student, ready to learn, excited to leave Blumenthal, but now?

Now he was just tired. 

He fell onto his back and stared at the ceiling, allowing the silence to creep over him as he raised his arm to look at the bulging of his bandages underneath. 

“Good Wintercrest…” He whispered to himself, almost bitterly. 

What was good about his birthday this year? It just marked the death of who he had been...Bren Ermendrud was dead. Today marked the birth of Caleb Widogast. A name he would carry until the day he died, and as a Scourger, that could be very soon. 

That had been the lesson the night before. 

~~

_ “You’re going to be a Scourger, Bren.” Trent stalked around Bren, the boy standing in the middle of the training room. He was breathing heavily, a few drops of sweat dripping down the side of his face.  _

_ “You have potential, Bren.” He trailed a hand across his shoulders, Bren leaned into the touch.  _

_ “But you have to unlock it.” Trent stood in front of him, eyes piercing him as he frowned. _

_ “Master-” _

_ “You are so strong, Bren. But not strong enough. How do we make you stronger, Bren?” Trent asked, and his tone told Bren that the question was rhetorical.  _

_ “I...I do not know, Master Ikithon.” He looked down at his feet, a bony finger raised his chin. Trent’s eyes almost appeared black to him, the dim light of the training room made it hard to see color. To Caleb, everything appeared to be in Sepia tones. The hand that cupped his chin moved to grab his wrist.  _

_ “Blood, Bren.” He growled. _

_ “I-I do not understand, Master-” _

_ “Magic is in the blood, Bren. Powerful magic. Is your blood magical?”  _

_ “No, sir.”  _

_ “Can we make it magical?” _

_ “No, sir.” This was it. He was a failure. He wasn’t strong enough. He had failed. He was going to return to Blumenthal a failure and- _

_ “Wrong.” His eyes snapped back up. _

_ “What?” _

_ “Sit.” Bren did as he was told.  _

_ He followed Trent to the chair that was set up by a table, Lorenzo was standing by it, preparing something under a bright light. He sat down and tried to see what the oni-giant was doing. Lorenzo shot him a glare and he winced, looking away quickly.  _

_ “Only the strongest of the Vollstrecker students can become Scourgers as you know. And...to become one in training? There is an advantage you need to have.” He stalked around to where Lorenzo was, grabbing tweezers and picking up a slice of something clear… no… chromatic? The crystal appeared to change colors.  _

_ “Do you know what this is?” He was asked. Bren shook his head. _

_ “Residuum. It belongs to the Xhorhas Dynasty. But we can use it.” How did Trent get it? Bren had a million questions. But he knew better than to ask. He wasn’t supposed to ask questions. He would gain the knowledge if he was patient and didn’t ask questions.  _

_ “What shall I do with it?” He asked instead.  _

_ “Give me your arm.” Bren did as he was told. He extended his arm. Lorenzo secured his wrist to the table with a leather strap, his heart began to race. _

_ “Master Ikithon, what-” _

_ “Do you want to succeed, Bren?” He was asked, the tone serious and intimidating. He swallowed his fear, nodding.  _

_ “Then shut up and take it.” Lorenzo hissed.  _

_ “Lorenzo.” Trent murmured, approaching Bren. The oni-giant huffed, quieting himself.  _

_ “Bren...this will hurt. As lessons sometimes do. But know you will be stronger. Imagine how much you’ll know when this experiment is done...how powerful you will be.” Trent loomed over him, Bren kept his eyes steady on the other’s.  _

_ “Y-Yes, sir.”  _

_ He saw the glint of a scalpel in his peripheral vision.  _

_ “That’s a good boy.” Trent purred, _

_ ~~ _

Caleb curled up, hugging himself as he let out sharp breaths. Gods it had hurt. Why had it hurt so much? His body was still trying to reject the Residuum. His arms had a constant throbbing pain to them, any pressure against him brought tears to his eyes. This was why he couldn’t go home. 

Bren had died that night. He had stopped reacting after thirty minutes of it. The pain something distant. 

Bren was broken.

Bren was not strong enough.

Bren cried. 

Caleb was who had been born. 

Caleb was strong.

Caleb had potential.

Caleb could be stronger. And would be. 

Sitting up he growled to himself, clutching at his hair. He needed to get out. He needed a friend. He needed someone. But not here.

Never here.

Grabbing his ragged coat and dulled scarf he hastily got ready and ran out of the Vollstrecker House, free for just a moment. 

**.**

**.**

**.**

The Rexentruum campus was nearly empty save for a few students here and there. He made his way to the Spires where most of his classes were, bumping into someone as he had been looking down. The motion caused immense pressure to hit his arms and he gasped, stumbling back. 

“Shit, I'm sorry! Are you alright?” He looked up, a purple tiefling was looking at him with worry. He...wait. He had seen him before. Briefly. He was new. Someone trying to get into the Vollstrecker House. 

A tiefling in the Vollstrecker House.

It was laughable. 

Wait. 

Caleb sucked in a breath. That wasn’t his thought. No. That wasn’t him. 

“Hey...you alright, sweetheart?” He blinked, looking at pupil-less red eyes once more. Lorenzo. That was where he had seen this man. Lorenzo had been considering training him...the tiefling was often seen during study hours, picking up what he could and assisting others. 

Caleb had kept his distance. He didn’t like new people. 

“I’m fine.” He assured, shouldering past him.

“You sure?” The other called. 

“ _ Ja _ ! Sorry about that!” Caleb kept going, not wanting to see any other Vollstrecker associates at the moment. 

He pushed his way into the Silver Spire, the one that focused on more alchemy than anything. Not many Vollstrecker had classes here. But Caleb enjoyed the logic behind alchemy and the formulas, creating something from seemingly nothing. 

He turned once he pushed past the red oak doors, climbing the stair well.

First floor.

Second floor.

Third floor.

He opened the doors again, heading down the hall. 

104.

106.

108.

110.

112.

He stopped, peeking in through the small window. He could hear shuffling inside. She was still here. Grading probably. 

Caleb knocked three times. That felt wrong. He knocked again, a four count. That was better. 

“Come in!” A voice cracked. Caleb turned the knob and walked in, shutting the door behind him quietly. 

“Bren!” He looked up, a halfling woman sat a desk near the front of the classroom, the chalkboard was clean for once, giving the room a pure feeling. Rebirth. 

“My spell worked?” He asked softly. She nodded, blushing a little. 

“Yes...thank you. And it lasts the day...I’ve got about an hour left on it. Thank you, Bren. Those students wouldn’t pay attention to me otherwise.” She sighed. 

“I cannot sneak away to cast it every day unfortunately...it takes components and I can only steal so much before-” 

“I know, Bren.”

“I’m going to find a cure. It wasn’t right. I don’t want you stuck like that. I-I promise i’m working hard, I’m going to-”

“Bren.” He realized he was rambling, hands clutching at himself. 

“Come sit.” He nodded, shuffling towards the desk. He looked around, finding a chair and moving it to be next to Veth. He set it down and took a seat, looking over the papers. 

“I’m assuming you didn’t come to talk about your final?” Veth asked, her eyes not leaving the papers. 

“N-Nein...I’m...pretty confident that I passed.” He confessed.

“Well you’re right. One hundred percent. Not that I'm surprised.” She sent a smirk towards him. 

“Ah... _ danke _ .” He looked down, smiling some. 

“I’m proud of you. Good job~ Now...I’m almost done with these...then we can do whatever you need. I promise.” She reached up and ruffled his shorter hair some. He was growing it out, and it was just a mop of reddish-brown tufts on his head at the moment. 

While Veth worked, Caleb looked around. He sat for a while, eyes counting the desks and how many were in each row. Five across, six back. Thirty total. Thirty students. He glanced at the stack of papers. Veth was approximately half way through. She was working fast. He probably had about forty-five minutes.

Caleb stood, making his way to the tall, thin windows of the room. The sky was overcast, threatening more snow, and promising more cold winds from the north. His eyes scanned the campus, small bodies in the distance loaded into carriages and left for the holidays, the decorations that had been set up for holiday spirit somehow seemed like ghosts now...the campus dead silent. He imagined himself leaving in those carriages too...following the tracks back to Blumenthal. He imagined himself stepping out, seeing the small, two-bedroom home near a tiny field and smiling. 

His mind took him to the front door, where he’d knock and wait anxiously, bag in hand. His mother, with dark hair and bright, blue eyes smiling at him happily, hugging him tightly in her arms. The smell of pine and hay coming off her clothes and hair, Caleb imagined he’d probably cry a bit. He missed them so much. 

He imagined his father coming from the barn, the one stall barn with their one horse. How he’d smile at him, ginger hair tied in a low ponytail, freckled face paled with the winter. He’d hug him too, and he’d smell like cigars and horses, with hints of clove. His room, small but enough, the ceiling slanted along with the roof. The window showing the town in the short distance. How quiet it was there, quiet but not threatening. Not intimidating. 

Home. 

His heart clutched in his chest, seizing and seeming to crack. 

He couldn’t go back there. 

Not like this. 

His mind showed him his mother’s face breaking into sobs as they saw his arms...torn up and shoved full of foreign crystals. His father looking afraid as he flinched from touches that were once welcomed, becoming irritated as he found the old songs he used to sing overwhelming from his tapping on the table instead of fun. His mother’s disappointment in how melancholy he had become, how he rarely smiled. 

“Bren?” 

His breath hitched, he swallowed hard. 

“Bren…” He yanked his hand away as someone grabbed it, and he looked around panicked. 

Oh. 

He was...he was here. Far from home. Far enough at least. 

Rexentruum.

Soltryce Academy.

And Veth was looking at him, concern furrowing her brow. 

“H-Hello.” He croaked. Veth bit her lip, reaching for his hand again. 

“I’ve finished...are you alright?” He shook his head.

“Is it...is it schoolwork?” He shrugged. She looked around, sighing. 

“Bren. I cannot help you if you do not talk to me.” Veth’s tone was final, motherly. He swallowed and let out a shaky breath, nodding. 

“I...I-I had a lesson last night. That was all. It was...a little much. I will become stronger.” He promised. 

“Anything else?” 

“...It is the holidays. And I miss my family.” He mumbled. Large eyes blinked at him, a hand squeezed his.

“Aren’t you going home?” 

“ _ Nein _ .” 

“Why?” 

“I just can’t...it’s hard to explain.” He breathed out, slowly sitting in the nearest desk. 

“Well….where are you staying then?” Caleb motioned around himself.

“Here…”

“Well that’s not right!” 

“...Master Ikithon offered his place to me...maybe-”

“NO.” She stomped her foot, pouting. 

“Veth?” He looked at her, arms finding their home around himself again. 

“You’re coming home with me!”

“What!?”

“You need a family! I’m not leaving you here alone! That’s insane!” He bit the inside of his cheek, glancing to the side.

“W-Will...Will Mr. Brenatto be okay with-”

“Yeza loves your company. Luc will be excited to have a guest. Come with me.” How could he say no to Veth? The woman had been nothing but kind to him. She was always there for him. He nodded, throat tightening as she lunged forward and hugged him. 

“Consider it a thank you for finding the components for that spell...okay?” Caleb nodded again, hugging her back. 

“O-Okay…” 

“Now...go pack. Meet me outside the House and we’ll go. Okay?” 

“O-Okay.” 

**.**

**.**

**.**

Back at the Vollstrecker House, Caleb didn’t take long to pack. He didn’t have much to begin with. In fact, he was the one waiting for Veth. 

He stood outside in the cold, just past the gates that marked the end of Trent’s protective wards. He held his bag over his shoulder, his other hand shoved in his pocket. 

The sound of snow crunching under feet made him raise his head from his thoughts. A small, goblin woman in a thick coat was trudging towards him, her hat making her ears lie flat against her head. 

“Oh! You’re...how long were you waiting?” She asked.

“Not long. Five minutes.” Caleb assured her. She reached for his hand, which Caleb easily took. Her green fingers twined with his own and she began to lead him away from the Vollstrecker House. 

“So, Veth-”

“Nott.”

“ _ Was _ ?” He looked down at her, eyebrow raised. 

“I...when I’m like this? I’m...I’m Nott. Veth is different.” She mumbled. Caleb bit his lip, he stopped and knelt down, not caring that the snow was making his knees wet. 

“You  _ are  _ Veth. Yeza and I have always told you that. I know the instincts aren’t you...they’re the goblin in you...but...but nothing else has changed. You will always be our Veth.” Her lantern-lit eyes raised to meet his own, and she smiled a little.

“...Thank you, Bren…” 

“Caleb.”

“What?” 

“...I’m different from how I was when I came here...I’m Caleb now.” He murmured. Nott didn’t seem to question, she just nodded.

“Okay then, Caleb.” He smiled back, picking her up with her bag. She squeaked and held onto him. Caleb made it about ten feet before he set her back down again with a sheepish look.

“You aren’t known for your strength, silly~ It’s okay! I can walk, you know.” Nott snickered, taking his hand again. 

“Ah...thank you, Nott.” He squeezed her hand, the two falling into an easy silence as they continued down the path many other students had taken earlier to leave. 

Once past the gates, Nott looked around, pulling away from Caleb when she spotted what she needed.

Or more, who. 

Caleb watched her run towards her husband, Yeza, and embrace him. He found himself proud to see the couple even kiss. 

“Yeza! Good Wintercrest!” She smiled.

“Ah...Wintercrest isn’t for two more days.” He chuckled.

“Still fine to wish it good early!” Nott kissed his cheek, ears twitching happily. 

“Where’s Luc? Where’s my boy?” She looked around, the motherly expression of concern beginning to come onto her features.

“Ah, he’s with our neighbor! Don’t worry. I wanted a peaceful walk. He’s rather excited you know...Wintercrest and baking and gifts. He’s helping the neighbor bake. Been a year since she lost her husband, she was happy for the company.” Caleb came over, giving a nod to Yeza.

“Hello Bren!” 

“Hello Mr. Brenatto.”

“Oh, please! Call me Yeza. We aren’t in class.” He grinned. Caleb smiled a little more. 

“Yeza! Caleb doesn’t have anyone to spend the holidays with. So he’s coming with us.” Nott stated simply. Yeza tilted his head. 

“Caleb?”

“Ah... _ j-ja _ . I changed my name recently. Today actually. I...um...it is Caleb now.” He explained shyly. Yeza just shrugged. 

“Of course. We don’t have an extra room though...are you okay sharing with Luc or...or sleeping on the couch?” 

“Oh, yes. I assure you I can sleep almost anywhere. I’m very grateful you both are opening up your home to me.” Nott gently hit his arm.

“You’re my boy too! You’re family. You come to us whenever you need anything.” She stated. Yeza gave a sharp nod.

“I agree. You’ve been nothing but helpful to Veth..if it weren’t for you, I don’t think she would have returned to work after...um...her incident.” Incident of course meaning Trent fucking her up and turning her into a goblin in the first place. 

“It is not a problem...thank you again for having me. Nott, it is a walk yes? Almost an hour? We should get going.” Caleb murmured. Nott looked at the slowly setting sun, pulling her mask up. 

“We should get going.” She reached for Yeza’s hand, her husband taking it and smiling softly. Caleb brought up the rear, following the halflings as they made their way through the snow and sludge. 

They spoke about a variety of topics, from Yeza’s current research to Nott’s new name that she gave her ‘goblin form’ as she called it, to what they got Luc for Wintercrest...a bow and arrow so he could begin to learn archery, as Nott was rather good with a crossbow. 

By the time they made it to the cottage, the sun was almost behind the hills, the air was crisp and Caleb could see his breath escaping and spiraling from his parted and chapped lips. 

The house itself was small, but he loved it. He bent forward some to get in the doorway, happy that he could stand up fully once inside. The fireplace was on, it smelled of cloves and cinnamon from some baked bread that was on the kitchen counter. 

Bending down, he untied his boots and left them at the door, getting his winter coat and scarf off before padding into the living room. The rug was frayed at the edges from a small cat that Luc had brought home. The cat sat on the couch now, a grey tabby who was maybe a year old. Caleb immediately sat and curled up towards it, smiling when the cat lifted its head from its paws and made a small ‘mrrp?’ in question. 

“Hallo...you are very pretty...yes you are…” He whispered, offering a bandaged hand. The cat leaned forward, sniffing it before pressing its head against him. 

“She likes you!” Nott grinned, sitting in her chair, legs crossed. 

“That makes me happy…” Caleb murmured, petting the cat’s head in a repetitive and soothing notion. He missed Frumpkin. He wished he could summon him. He just didn’t have the components. He needed that cat. The grounding feeling of a familiar caring about him. 

“W-What is his name?” He croaked.

“Fluffernutter.” Nott said simply, making Caleb look over.

“F...Fluffernutter?” He asked, wanting to confirm.

“Mhm! Luc named her. She’s a very good kitty. Well...mostly good.” She motioned towards the frayed rug. Caleb smiled some and nodded, carefully picking the cat up in his arms and setting her in his lap. The grey tabby meowed a little in confusion but settled once she was set down, kneading at his smaller thighs and stretching out over his lap. Caleb’s hand buried itself in her fur once more, petting and rubbing. 

“Caleb? Are you hungry?” Yeza called from the kitchen. 

“Ah... _ N-Nein _ . Thank you for offering.” Caleb called back. 

“Thirsty?” Yeza tried. 

“Y-Yes...um...something warm, perhaps?” 

“Yeza! I have tea mix in the pantry! Or hot cocoa on the third shelf!” Nott called. 

“Thank you, dear!” Nott looked back over at Caleb once more, the wizard was staring down at the cat, lost in thought. He felt welcome here, and yet his mind was still guarded, still afraid. He was in pain. The cold had left his nose red and runny, he sniffled. He raised his arm to wipe it on his sleeve, the bumps of bandages revealed.

“Caleb? Are you alright?” Nott’s voice broke his thoughts, and he bit his lip. 

“....Y-Yes. Yes why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Your arms…”

“Just some scrapes...fell.”

“That’s bullshit.” Nott huffed. Caleb sent a half-hearted glare her way, which only spurred the goblin to hop off her chair and come over, rolling up a sleeve before he could protest. 

“FUCK!” She gasped. 

“What!?” Yeza ran out, worried that someone had gotten hurt. 

“Yeza look at this shit!” Nott screeched. The halfling came over, seeing the bandages that went up to Caleb’s elbows, the gauze bloodied and splotched.

“....What in the name of….”

“I-It’s nothing. It is nothing that anyone needs to be concerned about.” Caleb tried to take his arm away, but Nott wasn’t letting go, the action caused pain to shoot through his skin, a small cry escaping his lips when her fingers brushed over a crystal through the bandages.

“Fuck...fuck...Caleb did you...did you-”

“No!” 

“Then how-”

“Trent! Okay!?” His voice came through grit teeth, his eyes refusing to meet anyone’s. Surprisingly, Yeza was the one to speak up first. 

“I’m getting really tired of that old coot.” He growled, Caleb seeing his hand reaching for Nott’s, taking it in his own.

“I’ve never had a good feeling about him, but I’ve been holding back from trying to throttle him every time I see him after what he did to you. And now this…? Our boy?” 

“O-Our?” Nott squeaked.

“If you’ve adopted him. Then he’s my son too. And if he’s hurt. Then we take care of him.” Yeza tilted his head up, and Caleb frowned, scared. 

“D-Don’t fight him. Do not fight him.” He begged. Nott cupped his face, getting him to look at her.

“Shh...Caleb...we’re not going to. We’re not going to fight him.”

“It’s going to take more than two halflings to take down Ikithon.” Yeza sighed, biting his lip. 

“...I’m going to get Luc. Honey, why don’t you get his bandages changed?” Yeza suggested. Nott took Caleb by the hand, urging him to stand after shooing Fluffernutter from his lap. 

Caleb followed, defeated. He was taken to her and Yeza’s bedroom where a bed covered in a knit quilt sat in the center of the room. He took a seat on it at her urgings, watching the goblin disappear into the bathroom for a moment. 

She appeared a moment later with a small box, upon opening it he saw some salves and bandages. Things for first aid. 

“N-Nott...I’m not sure you should-”

“Hush. I’m healing you.” She decided. Sighing, Caleb held out his arm, looking away. The pressure lifted from his arms as she unwrapped them slowly, the sharp intake of breath making him wince as she discovered what exactly had been done. 

“Caleb...what...what  _ is  _ that?” She whispered.

“R...Residuum. Crystals….he’s...he’s giving me magic.” He mumbled. 

“...Fuck that! Take them out!” She demanded. 

“ _ Nein! _ ” Caleb whipped his head back around, covering his arm, panic clear on his face.

“Why not!?”

“I-It hurts! I-I’ve tried!” He lied.

“I can’t take them out!” Lie.

“They’re stuck.” Lie. 

Nott believed it. Somehow that hurt worse than the crystals embedded in his skin. 

“Just...just clean up the skin and...and replace the bandages?” He asked softly. Nott inspected the crystals, her claws carefully touching one, but not trying to move it. Nodding, she grabbed a cloth and left to get it wet. 

The process was simple enough. She wiped between the cuts and around them, turning his blood speckled skin back to his freckled pale tones. She then wrapped his arms in fresh bandages. It wasn’t much relief, but some was better than none. Before Caleb could get up and go back out into the main room, Nott was climbing onto the bed and hugging him tightly. Caleb wasn’t sure what was happening. She just kept hugging him, arms around his shoulders as she buried her face in his hair. 

“...I’m so  _ sorry _ .” Her voice breathed against the strands.

“W-Why?” Caleb choked out, raising his shaking arms to hug her back. 

“I didn’t protect you…”

“Yes you did.”

“I-I wasn’t there to stop him.”

“But you’re here now.”

“I’m sorry, Caleb.”

“Please... “ He squeezed her closer. 

“Don’t be…” He begged. 

Nott sniffled and pressed closer, Caleb held her tightly, heart racing behind his chest as he felt tears well up in his eyes, hot and stinging before he blinked hard and let them drip down his cheeks. 

“You’re not a bad person...I-I think you’re great...really wonderful...you’ve got a family here...don’t isolate in that House…” Nott began, slowly drawing her fingers through his hair. 

“H-How do you think Trent became the way he was? H-He said ‘fuck you’ to everything that mattered! But you don’t...so...you got us...you got Yeza and I? Your brother Luc...no matter what happens, this is your home...and I’m going to help you.” Caleb let out a broken sob, burying his face in her chest. 

“S-Shhh it’s okay...it’s okay…” Caleb let himself be pushed to lay down, arms still wrapped around him. He buried his head right back in her chest, hiding as tears soaked his face and sobs wracked his form. 

“I’ve got you Caleb...no matter what name you take on...you are still the same man to me...a curious, bright, and young individual. You’ve just been hurt and that’s bullshit...you didn’t deserve any of that...it’s gonna be okay…” Nott told him, holding him tight and letting him cry into her. 

Outside, the sounds of Luc laughing approached the house, and Yeza smiled sweetly at his son, admiring the way his lips curved up in the same way his wife’s did when she smiled. 

Caleb fell asleep like that, curled up against Nott, tears dried against his face, her fingers in his hair, and her loving words lulling him into a place of temporary safety. 

**.**

**.**

**.**

“And then it all went BOOM! And we had to slide down the tree trunk before we were caught by the guards and put to DEATH!” 

“Luc!” 

“What?” 

“Volume, love.” 

“Sorry, mom.” Caleb laughed softly, curled up on the couch with Luc beside him. The boy was young, still playing pretend with friends. He was engaging him in a story of how they had stolen a relic from the castle and were returning it to the Fae King before the castle guards could catch them. They played in the nearby forest, it made Caleb miss his own childhood, when things were different. 

“Well...did you do it?” He asked.

“Do what?” Luc looked up from where he was holding Yeza’s yarn that he was knitting.

“Escape the guards?” His eyes went wide and the child gave him a toothy grin.

“Yeah! Of course we did! Oh! Bren play with us next time! Please?” He asked. 

“His name is Caleb now, Luc.” Yeza hummed, concentrating on the scarf he was working on.

“How come?”

“It just is.” 

“Oh...okay! Caleb will you play with us next time!?” Caleb couldn’t frown if he wanted to right now. Luc was adorable. He was so...innocent. He wanted to protect the Brenatto family with all he had. 

“If i’m around...I would love to join you all.” He said, reaching out and patting his head gently. His bandaged arms were covered in a huge sweater that Nott had bought for him that he kept with him. It was baggy and he swam in it, the green colors making his hair seem to light up like embers. 

From the kitchen the smell of Wintercrest wafted out. A roast, vegetables, the smell of mulled wine beneath it all as they all nursed cups, even Luc, as it wasn’t very alcoholic and drank only once a year. The Winter Wreath hung above the fireplace, the bright colors of the pine lighting up the room. Caleb was at peace for the first time in a year...this was a home too. It had been a few days since he had arrived here. The Brenatto’s had welcomed him with open arms, no questions, just understanding. He reached for his cup on the coffee table and brought it to his lips, taking a sip. 

“Caleb?”

“Yes, Luc?”

“Do you want mine?” He looked over to see Luc offering his glass. Chuckling he nodded.

“Sure, do you not like it?” 

“Not really...it’s bitter.” He made a face, wrinkling it up. Caleb thought he looked a lot like Nott in that moment.

“ _ Ja _ ...alcohol tastes bitter to small ones...but you tried it, as you do every year, ja?” He asked. Luc nodded.

“Mhm! I like honeyed milk better. Papa makes it so good!” 

“So well.” Yeza corrected.

“Whatever~” Yeza rolled his eyes at Luc and found a stopping point, setting his scarf aside and relieving Luc of his yarn-holding duties.

“Would you like to come help me in the kitchen with mommy? I’ll make the milk too, I believe we need to set the table anyways.” The boy hopped up, gone from the living quicker than Magic Missile. Caleb poured Luc’s mulled wine into his own low cup, sipping it again. The warm liquid trickled down his throat, warming him from the inside out and making the awful voices he had created for himself go fuzzy, leaving only the happy buzz. 

He didn’t even hear Nott approach, he saw her big ears twitch as she dug under the Wintercrest Tree for something, and she brought over a small package. 

“Caleb?” 

“ _ J..Ja _ ?” Nott came over, hopping onto the couch next to him and extending the package towards him. It was wrapped in simple brown paper with string keeping it together. 

“Happy birthday.” His eyes widened and he looked at her, breath kicked out of him.

“H-...How did you-”

“I’m your professor, of course I know it. The date is right next to your name in the attendance book.” She snickered. 

“But...oh...Nott you didn’t have to I-”

“Nonsense. You’re twenty-four now. Go on, open it.” She smiled. Swallowing, Caleb nodded, slowly untying the rope before peeling back the paper to reveal a book. An heirloom book. One that he had spot in a store once, the binding was worn with dulled gold, the title in a language that was not Common. He opened the pages, running his fingers over the yellowed paper, breath catching in his lungs. 

Spells. 

Potions. 

Incantations.

Evocations. 

Sigils.

Runes. 

The book was filled with knowledge. Knowledge he could decipher and keep to himself. It was a private escape. This was his. An heirloom book filled with notes and facts from powerful mages of centuries past. 

“V-Veth…” He choked, wiping his eyes.

“Is it okay?” 

“Yes! Yes! Nott this...oh gods... _ danke _ .” He held the book to his chest after closing it, he then got up and felt around under the couch before bringing out his bag, pulling out another heirloom book. Nott’s eyes focused on it,

“Wait...do you already have that one? We can exchange it! I’m sor-”

“ _ Nein _ ! This is the other half!” He said, sitting back down and showing her. 

“See? This one...my parents saved up for years...a-and they bought it for me. It is...it is Abjuration, Transmutation, Divination, and bits of Necromancy...but it’s only half of this mage’s notes. The Heirloom Books are highly sought after by wizards and sorcerers. You just gave me his other book. I...I have them both. Thank you...thank you, Nott. This means so much.” Caleb carefully set his newest addition into his bag, pushing it back under the couch before bringing her close and hugging her tightly. 

Nott wrapped her tiny arms around him, leaning up to press kisses to his cheek. 

“I’m so glad you like it...Yeza pointed it out in the store yesterday and said you’d like it.” Caleb nuzzled her head and nodded.

“I-I like it a lot...thank you again...how can I repay you?” 

“By living...by fighting for your happiness...by letting us be your family here?” He nodded, swallowing thickly as tears threatened to spill.

“I-I already see you guys as that...so...so you do not need to worry… _ mutter _ ”

“What did you call me?”

“...Mother.” Nott squeezed him tighter, 

“My boy…” Caleb nodded, he was her boy. 

“Happy birthday, Caleb…” 

“Good Wintercrest… _ mutter _ .” 

**.**

**.**

**.**

That night, after Luc had been put to bed and Yeza had convinced Nott to settle in for the evening with him, Caleb sat on the couch with his book. He had been reading it for a few hours, and midnight was approaching. He moved to his bag again, grabbing his supplies to write a letter. Fluffernutter mrrp’d in protest at the man moving, disturbing her rest.

Settling on the floor, he took a deep breath and swallowed. He stared at the paper for what felt like forever, and as the clock chimed midnight, he closed his eyes, throat tight. 

“ _...alles Gute für mich... _ ” He sang softly, staring at the fire.

“ _...alles Gute für mich… _ ” His heart ached for his parents.

“ _ Alles Gute zum Geburtstag lieber Bren...Ruhe in Frieden _ …” 

He brought a flame up on his fingers, the act of it causing the crystals to activate and sting his arms. He closed his eyes and made a wish, blowing it out quickly before beginning to write. 

_ Dear Mother & Father,  _

_ I am very sorry I did not come home for the holidays. I miss you both terribly...it is just past midnight here. Your little boy is twenty-four now. It feels wrong not being there with you to spend my day of birth...but rest assured that I am with people who love me as you do. And that they have made my Wintercrest one worth remembering.  _

_ Regret is what I feel for not returning. My studies took over my head. I’m sorry.  _

_ Next holiday I am coming home.  _

_ Master Ikithon is very proud of my work, and I will be studying under his tutelage from now on. Next time I see you I hope to have more wonderful stories to share.  _

_ Good Wintercrest,  _

_ Until we reunite again, _

_ Bren Aldric Ermendrud _

_ PS: Ich liebe dich _

He waited for the ink to dry and folded the letter, slipping it in an envelope to send out the following morning when they found a post office. 

Caleb had no idea it would be the only letter that he had sent to his parents that would make it to his house without interference. That this would be the only letter that his parents would receive that would have his true words in it, not altered and coded or just destroyed. 

He put everything away and curled up on the couch, the knit quilt Nott and Yeza had pulled out for him keeping him warm as he laid his head on the pillows. His eyes were set on the gifts they all had set out for Luc with a gentle smile. For this short period of time...he was home. And he was normal. He was not conflicted. 

His eyes closed, his wish echoing in his head as he fell into a dreamless slumber with Fluffernutter now curled on his chest, her purring grounding him.

_ I wish to find freedom...where I can always feel this safe. _

**Author's Note:**

> Translations: 
> 
> Ja | Yes  
> Nein | No  
> Was | What  
> Mein Freund | My friend  
> Mutter | Mother  
> alles Gute für mich | Happy birthday to me  
> Alles Gute zum Geburtstag lieber Bren...Ruhe in Frieden… | Happy birthday dear Bren...rest in peace  
> Ich liebe dich | I love you


End file.
